fomo

I write because I really don’t feel like writing and if there’s to be any hope that this blog won’t peter out like the forefathers before it then I should probably learn how to write through laziness and un-desire. Tonight’s un-desire is, I think, born from the persistent feeling of fomo that I haven’t been able to shake off since I graduated from college a week ago. I feel often like I’ve done college wrong somehow– like I should have done more and differently (or maybe less and differently?). I’ve spent the last hour or so binge downloading syllabi from classes I wish I had taken from professors I wish I had gotten to know before my access to the portal is officially rescinded. I’ll probably never look at most of them beyond a skim, and almost certainly won’t dedicate a reading regime to following them through, but knowing they are sitting in my hard drive somewhere helps to offset the fomo in a small way–that this superior education that I fear I missed out on is still available to me, at least technically. Small and silly measures. Terrible thing this fomo business.

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fomo

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